NasrAllah Abusiyam, a 19-year-old Palestinian American who loved horses and known for helping others, was killed on the first day of Ramadan this year after rushing to defend a farmer under attack in the West Bank.
“He was a kid who could never stand to see anyone suffer,” said Alae, Abusiyam’s New Jersey-based cousin who asked for his last name to be withheld. “They beat him… shot him and killed him on the spot.”
That story — one of several shared — hung over a gathering in New Jersey on Thursday, as families spoke about loss, displacement and fear stretching from the Middle East into their own homes on the eve of Eid-al-Fitr.
With the holiday beginning Friday, what is typically a time of celebration has instead become a moment of grief for many Muslim families, particularly those with ties to Iran, Lebanon and Palestine.
Eid-al-Fitr, which marks the end of the fasting month of Ramadan, is traditionally a time of prayer, feasting and gathering with loved ones.
But at the Thursday press conference, community members and advocates said the violence abroad is making it nearly impossible to celebrate. They are calling on New Jersey congressional representatives to demand an end to the war on Iran.
“How can we celebrate Eid when so many around the Muslim world… are suffering?” said Salaedin Maksut, executive director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations New Jersey (CAIR-NJ), a Muslim civil rights and advocacy organization. “The reality on the ground is grim making it difficult for many families in New Jersey and abroad to celebrate the holiday.”
Maksut described a community caught between observance and anguish, with loved ones overseas facing bombardment, displacement and uncertainty.
One by one, speakers filled in what that suffering looks like.
The National Iranian American Council (NIAC), a nonprofit that advocates for Iranian American communities, partnered with the polling firm Zogby Analytics to conduct a national survey — NIAC: Iranian American Poll — of Iranian Americans examining community views on the war with Iran, U.S. policy and prospects for diplomacy.
Fielded during the first week of the conflict, Feb. 27-March 5, the survey provides one of the earliest snapshots of Iranian American opinion as the crisis unfolded.
Etan Mabourakh, national organizing manager for NIAC, spoke about watching neighborhoods in Iran disappear through videos sent by friends.
“They’re blowing up blocks full of fathers, mothers, kids and grandparents,” he said. “Democracy does not flow from bombs and destruction.”
He also pushed back on the idea that war reflects the will of Iranian Americans.
“The community is not a monolith,” he said. “There is no strong mandate for this war… a strong majority still supports diplomacy.”
Hala, who asked that her last name be withheld, a Lebanese American whose family has been displaced in southern Lebanon, described a life she had imagined returning to — one rooted in her village, surrounded by citrus groves that had sustained generations.
She said her village has been flattened, its farmland destroyed and her family displaced again. What was once a place she planned to return to in retirement now feels out of reach.
“Lemon and orange trees… fed South Lebanon,” she said. “They bulldozed our trees and killed them.”
Jad Nehme, another Lebanese American speaker, spoke as both a son of Lebanon and a father, describing the uncertainty facing family members still in the country, including his American daughter.
He described his hometown of Tyre — one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world — as a historic coastal city once known for its preserved ruins and tight-knit neighborhoods, now under repeated bombardment.
“We don’t know at this point when, where, who or why someone will be killed,” he said. “Even leaving does not mean safety.”
Members of his family, including children and elderly relatives, were forced to flee with little warning, he said, after being told to leave or risk death. Even those who left were not spared, as strikes continued across the country.
Lawrence Hamm, chairman of the People’s Organization for Progress, connected those experiences abroad to pressures at home.
“This war is causing death and destruction abroad, and it is causing suffering at home,” he said. “We’re told there’s not enough money for health care and education… but we can come up with billions for war.”
He warned of broader consequences if the conflict continues to expand. “It has the potential of evolving into a world war,” he said.
Nancy Stern, a professor and daughter of Holocaust survivors, spoke about how her understanding of the region changed after visiting the West Bank multiple times.
Raised with the belief that Israel represented safety for Jewish people, she said she later confronted what she described as deeply ingrained biases.
“When you hear Palestinians telling you they are being killed… believe them,” she said.
She recounted seeing what she described as segregation and restrictions on movement, including roads Palestinians could not use and communities cut off by barriers and checkpoints. She also spoke about the relationships she formed, including attending a Palestinian wedding and witnessing daily life under those conditions.
“Palestinians aren’t asking for anything radical,” she said. “They’re asking for liberation, freedom and equality.”
Reza Farzan, an Iranian American Muslim, was among those unable to reach family in Tehran, he struggled to speak through tears as others around him described similar fears and uncertainty.
Maksut returned to that point.
“Many are in grief. Many are suffering,” he said. “We must end the violence and the bloodshed. Enough is enough.”